Heart always wins!

Once upon a time I was an idealist in the matters of heart. Later Life happened and I transformed into a pragmatist. Then by a sheer streak of luck, I found myself ready to fall in love but in hindsight I feel I might have taken this thought a tad bit too literally.

Water Fire- Providence

Besides, I am sure you would agree that falling head over heels on your first date is rarely a good idea. What I did was quite the contrary!  As I was about to meet my husband for the very first time-where do you think I found myself? On his feet- literally! I tripped and fell flat on my face. Now since my sense of elegance is in question here, let me clarify- it wasn’t my fault of course-it rarely is, is it? The culprit was the new pair of high heels that I had adorned to impress upon this tall man. So much so for first impressions!

Fast forward a few months-things seemed to be going unexpectedly well (note: with the same date and yes- he did call me back)! The cynical I was still unwilling to believe this was really happening. So I figured it was

time to beard the lion in his den. I flew down to meet Siva in Houston. As I came down the escalators in the airport, I breezed right past the concierge surrounded by agents and limo drivers carrying placards. One of them even continued to offer me a ride in spite of my repeated denial explaining that I already have one. Not for long though-only moments later when I glanced back, realization finally dawned on me that the rather persistent soul was none other than my ride-Siva.

He drove me to this beautiful hotel, helped me with my bags to my room and as he was opening the shades to give me a glimpse of the famous city line, I somehow caught an edge of the bed, and landed flat, this time on my back. Fortunately for me, Siva had his back to me-and I thought to myself "what a golden opportunity to course correct!" I hurriedly got up and straightened myself up like nothing happened, joined him next to the balcony and followed his gaze out. 

Biba Dushi- Aruba

In fact we continued to follow each other on our respective paths and before we knew we were on the same path-this time on our honeymoon in Aruba. Love was certainly in the air, my heart was filled with such joy that it's it hard to even describe. And as I admired the magical ocean outside, my husband called out to me-"be careful, will ya? Don’t fall off the bed this time". I suspiciously turned out and gave him a puzzled look which was returned by an equally amused wink.  As it turns out, he had after all seen me make that ungracious fall on that fateful evening in Houston-apparently he caught that happening on the reflection on the TV from the corner of his eyes-if you ask me, I’d say what an unnecessary coincidence! Sometimes I thank God and other times I wonder, why and how did he chose me. My only explanation-The heart has its reasons which reason knows not.

A Birthday To Remember

As I browsed through the photo album with my mother, I paused at the pictures of my friends circled around my birthday cake: they all looked so excited –probably in anticipation of the chocolate treat awaiting them- so was I. Suddenly I remembered that my birthday was just round the corner and my smile faded. Seeing that, my mom inquired what was bothering me.

On one of our trips to India

I told her how much I missed my school, my old friends and everything I loved and how I had to leave all that behind when my parents decided to move back to India-a new place for me then. I went on to complain about how life was not the same anymore. I nostalgically gave the picture one last glance and concluded with a deep sigh- “I will never be that happy again”; to which my mom gently responded “of course you will be, in fact you will be happier than you have ever been-you just wait and watch”!

What followed in the days leading up to my birthday was very heartwarming. My parents started browsing stores to look for party supplies. They had a hard time finding the typical stuff. But that didn’t deter them. For instance, in the absence of preprinted invitation cards, my dad got some blank cards from stationery and used his typewriter to print each invitation himself. Then my parents put themed cartoon stickers on the cards and added glitter. At the end of that project, those birthday invitations-oh boy looked far more adorable than store-bought ones. 

Anyway not so long before, my dad had helped put a cast on a kid’s fractured hand. When my father started prescribing some medication, he noticed the young patient’s father looked very anxious. It didn’t take long for my dad to realize why.  The man as it turned out, was an electrician by profession: he was a man of modest means who had just used up most of his money buying the plaster (for the cast) and paying for the doctor’s fees: he was afraid he didn’t have enough money left to buy medications. On hearing this, my father waived his fees and returned the money to the man urging him to buy medicines with that instead. Fast forward a few weeks, the same man had returned with his son for a follow-up: this was the morning of my birthday. On learning that the clinic was closing early that day, he insisted he wanted to help out later that afternoon with setting up the chairs on the terrace.

A birthday to remember indeed!

A few hours later when my mom went upstairs with the cake, she stared at the terrace in disbelief. The setup looked anything like that of a birthday party-it looked like a mini-wedding venue! What had apparently happened is shortly after helping out, this kind man had returned to the terrace and set up colored tube lights encircling that area.  Suffice to say the whole place looked surreal! Now that birthday did turn out to the best birthday I have ever had, just like my mom had promised. I had my parents, my grandparents, a few of my favorite cousins and last but not the least my new friends then, some of whom went on to become my bosom friends. 

Although what made that occasion so memorable was not the delicious menu, the dazzling setup or the delightful games; it was much bigger than that-it was something that my mind was probably not matured enough to perceive then. But now over two decades later as I recollect the events of that day I know: I know how deeply I have come to appreciate the value of that love and determination which compelled my parents to creatively overcome materialistic challenges;  the significance of a kind deed followed by an equally moving act of reciprocation!

I somehow feel that those experiences have something to do with who I am and what I stand for today. It has instilled in me the conviction to never undermine the power of people, oneself included, and to never overestimate your challenges. For the problem is rarely the problem- it is our reaction to that which makes or breaks us. So I believe the trick is to not react to life but to respond and to respond with love, faith and fortitude.

Reliving my glorious past..through writing!

My memory of writing fondly goes back to my grandfather encouraging me to write from a very early age. I would write short stories and he would promise to narrate me Indian mythological stories in return. As I wrote one particular story, I remember drawing pictures accompanying some highlights of the story, one of them being that of the protagonist-a little girl discovering a clay pot of gold coins under a banyan tree.

Another recollection is that of a trip to Lake Chilika with family. My sister and I were gifted a diary each and asked to pen down our thoughts about the vacation and share it at the end of the trip. As my sister read out her journal entry, I heard her in awe and felt an ardent desire to someday be able to do similar justice in capturing an immersive experience amidst vivid imagery.

Lake Chilika during sunrise

Fast forward several years: through the decade that followed, I would write several poems, or rather pieces of memoriam as I lost some of my favorite family members, starting with the passing away of my grandfather and most recently with the loss of my mom. 

In the past few years, I found consolation in writing blogs which enabled me to revisit heartwarming memories from childhood and growing years among family and friends. Writing gave me an opportunity to embark on a healing and bittersweet journey-it kept me strong and calm during some challenging times.

And now –since I met my husband last year, it has been such a beautiful experience that I hope to steal some time away from the fast pace of Life  and capture these extraordinary moments in my own words before time wipes these memories away.